Because I am fortunate enough to work with Alex Mattingly (and vice versa), we get to chatter at each other in person and via email 5 days a week. This morning I stopped by his cubicle on the way back to my desk from the kitchen to blather at him about how my week is going to shape up, what with having two days off for Thanksgiving and making adjustments on the front end of the week for childcare considerations.
I did 97.8% of the talking in our conversation, so when I got back to my desk, I (obviously) sent Alex an email joking about how he never shuts up during our conversations, going on and on and on about himself, and, gosh.
Four minutes later, the following reply to this email appeared in my inbox.
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Subject: RE: important
“…and then from 4-6 Oliver is with Carrie’s children, and then from 6-7:30 he has dance recital, but I’ll be drinking peppermint Via and Alex* has to work, so my third cousin will take Oliver and Margot to the dance recital and then Margot will get a haircut but we will all get back to the elementary school by 7 since that is when Oliver performs his medley from ‘Cats’ and then at 7:30 I plan to be sad about Margot’s haircut and the inevitable loss of innocence that haunts every childhood, then at 8:30 we’ll watch New Girl for ten minutes until the kids get rowdy and we end up watching the last quarter of ‘Wreck-It Ralph,’ at which point Alex will put the kids to bed while I make kale burgers with canola oil instead of butter, based on this recipe I found stuck to the shoe of a freegan when we went out to Portland for a summer, and then we’ll finally eat close to 10, but we’ll both be so tired that…”
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And I was just so charmed at being so accurately mocked that I had to preserve the mockery here.
May life bring each of us at least one Sassy Friend. Hear that, Mattingly!
*One feels the need to clarify that here Alex Mattingly is not weirdly referring to himself in the 3rd person, but is instead speaking of my husband, also named Alex, usually known in our emails as RealAlex(R). To further complicate things, I have a brother who is also called Alex. My heavens, the abundance of blessing that is so many Alexes.
Jackie Lutzke 